It’s the week leading up to finals (most of mine are next week) as mentioned yesterday. Studying is a lot harder than it looks. I just can’t seem to force myself to open any type of notes. It’s almost vomit-enducing. Anyways…
This movie made me remember again why it is that we get hurt and why we want to remember it. It’s easy to say I rather forget the bad and remember the good or vice versa. We want the easy way out when we’re in pain and move on to the part where we just forget that it happened. But that’s the thing though, are some memories worth keeping and others aren’t?
I’ve had my share of complete and utter heartache. The heartache where your heart literally pangs so hard that as much as you think you can sob harder and louder it doesn’t make you feel any better. Even the ones that just slightly tug your heart, you wish you could fast forward it to a better day. It’s said that everything happens for a reason and whatever doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger, right? Is there such thing as unnecessary pain? As in, did I necessarily had to put myself in that situation, knowingly? I think that these thoughts often come when I feel lonely. The loneliness often triggers so many things that I rather not think about. It makes me think that some moments are worth more than they really are. It’s not inflicted emotional pain, I think. But rather, I would’ve expected this to happen because A happened, so B should’ve happen. Should’ve. I swear it’s the always constant battle of reality versus expectation. Reality always wins but somehow expectation is the triumphant soldier that never gives up, even in the most hopeless situations.
Watching both Clementine and Joel’s relationship, you see how in some aspects, they were complete opposites of one another. So opposite that some of these attributes that each other had, they hated. Clementine was quirky and open, Joel was quiet and kept to himself. You see how and why there’s friction. But even through the fucked up shit and the great lengths they went to literally erase each other completely, in the end, they both said, “okay.” That’s all it took, “okay.” Well, shit. Sign me up for the “okay.”
“Blessed are the forgetful, for they get the better even of their blunders.”