Day 118: Ira and Abby

Ira & Abby w/ Chris Messina & Jennifer Westfeldt

Psychology major studying to be a psychologist, albeit he has major issues and so does the woman he spontaneously decides to marry. Let’s not forget his parents are therapists as well. They rationalized their whim of a marriage because they figured everyone else who’s done it the right way ends in divorce anyways. Throughout the movie, we see different perspectives of the ultimate marriage. We see Ira’s parents, a marriage blossomed because of an unexpected pregnancy. His parents ultimately agreed that “you learn to love because you’re hinged together.” They married for Ira. Which to some extent seems to be the reason for the many marriages we see today. We this marriage and its juxtaposition to Abby’s parents’ marriage, a seemingly happy marriage. But of course, there’s a catch.

The idea and convention of marriage seems to continue to tarnish over time for me. I’m not doubting the belief that two people can stay in love for years on end, but I doubt the belief that marriage is going to keep that. We’re all groomed to think that the next logical step in our lives is to marry someone we love. But being married doesn’t solidify anything aside from having a great party. Can we start blaming ourselves that we’ve fallen into some hypocrisy of how things are supposed to be. Because the reality is nothing is what it’s supposed to be. Not then and not now. I often wonder about happily married couples. I’m sure there are some, but none that I can instantly look up to. I would venture even to say my parents’ marriage isn’t exactly what I interpret happiness to look like. The American mold of marriage is so different than what I’ve grown up with. The meanings and the sentiments that often intertwine themselves don’t seem apparent in my culture. Marriage seemed to mean a necessity as a means of providing a proven lifestyle. The sentiments were extra. Love bears no meaning, but just holds as a placeholder for other passive emotions. Maybe I’m one of the unfortunate ones who weren’t nurtured by a normal marriage. Has that effected me? You bet your ass it has. I have way too many issues with love and commitment than any normal twenty-something year old should. Maybe that’s how I got to where I am today, sharing with you all about the ludicrous conventions of life and love.

Can I be proven wrong? Surely. But the idea of marriage just doesn’t seem to sit with me anymore. Ira and Abby ironically decide to divorce to live happily with each other. A smart move. A move that seemed more pleasant than smart, but worked. The titles were the only thing that seem to create friction between them aside from useless omissions of truth. And maybe that’s the truth, maybe we can live happily together without the fairy tale of marriage.

Ira: Maybe marriage is just a fad, with an unusally long lifespan….
Abby: Like bottled water
Ira: or man-sandals…

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