Category Archives: Beginning

How to Maintain That Flame: An Update From This Romantic!

Okay, I’m kidding.  I have no freaking clue how to maintain any type of romantic relationship aside from the obvious. But I can update you on the current happenings of this romantic!

After keeping with this blog, I briefly mentioned how I miss the attention I used to give this. I didn’t want to start another “XXX days of …”  because frankly I’d lose my shit. But, I did want to find someway to keep my observations of love and relationships active. Writing…requires a lot of thought. Sometimes, I can’t really do that. What I felt blogging lacked at times was that it was a very one-sided conversation.  It’s hard to start talking about relationships when I’m the only one that’s paranoid.

What’s becoming a part of this solution is that  I’m now part of this awesome network of thoughtful and witty folk who have been my little bits of inspiration in writing. People have shared some really honest and truthful experiences that I have found valuable in not only developing my thoughts about relationships more but generally allowing me to be a part of a conversation. I loved what I was doing and what I was being a part of so much, I’ve decided to help!

I’ll be sharing a couple of muses that I think you all would find interesting and  post a couple of questions I created. Feel free to click the image, it leads you straight to a couple of my favorite muses!




Day 79: The Republic of Love

He was a talk show host, she studied mermaids. Enchanting.

I wanted so hard to like this. The description seemed promising: “A story of love and enchantment set in the coldest of winters, it explores the issues, dilemmas and barriers facing the lucky and unlucky in love in the 21st Century.” It seemed to have all the right elements – disenfranchised thirty something female losing hope in love, an unlucky leading man looking for the right woman, mixed in with snow. But, I struggled to keep up. It could’ve been the pizza that tired me out, but I’m sure it was the film. The moments that were hardest to endure happened when they realized they loved each other. I’m all for “love at first sight,” but that was entirely too easy to suspend any disbelief. After all, it said it was supposed to model the complexity of love in the 21st century, that wasn’t definitely 21st century.

The hardest thing about starting a relationship, especially when everything else is right – primarily the person – are when the conditions are completely wrong. It could be timing, current relationship (reminder, anything done with the other person is considered cheating), everything else but the person. We’re all so consumed in our lives, yet some of us make time for love. Finding love is the easier of the things needed to do when we find someone. I think maintaing that love is the more difficult part. There are obviously no wrong or right ways, but are there ways to safely assure me that everything will be okay?

I might have to rewatch this again minus the pizza-coma. I’m sure the novel was better though.

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Day 30: While You Were Sleeping

While You Were Sleeping w/ Sandra Bullock

Sandra Bullock plays the average girl so wonderfully well. She’s funny and endearing, you secretly root for her throughout each of her films with the exception of Speed 2. While You Were Sleeping is in itself a fairy tale for everyday women. Who doesn’t secretly eyeball the the hell out of a mysterious man you see everyday? Like most women, we envision our life stories right before our eyes in the hopes of maybe even receiving a deserving glance. I’m more than guilty of doing this with plenty of good-looking men. I guess I believe in the whole idea of “you just never know.” There’s that whimsical enchantment that exists for me, the random share of interest, that somehow manages to grab his attention. My good friends and I joke about all the romantic “novels” I’ve pursued in the past four years of being single. We start discussing about how we meet and the unexpected adventure we entail to prove our love for each other. It’s fun and a little heartbreaking. Because like all fairy tales, it’s not real. He never did look back as he walked by. Nor did he ask me what book was I reading or how beautiful the day look. There are all my own little fairy tales, mini novels, with complete strangers who I’ve dubbed as my prince charming. At least in While You Were Sleeping, she doesn’t get her prince charming, she gets someone real. Someone she didn’t expect, someone who admired her for everything she was despite lying to his entire family (um, yikes).  Continue reading

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Day 26: Breaking Upwards

Breaking Upwards w/ Zoe Jones & Daryl Wein

Breaking Upwards is an indie rom-com set to the background of New York City following the eventual break up of 20-somethings. Ahhh, music to my ears. Obviously relatable. Obviously, snarky. We can focus on the detrimental factors to this relationship, but I’d like to really focus on the character Zoe. Here’s some context to the film, it’s actually the real story, more or less, of the leading couple when they decided to break up for a while. Zoe, played by Zoe Lister Jones, is overtly fucked up in the most narrowest sense. She’s all woman, hear me roar. She definitely played one too many Beyonce albums. Again, some background to her fuckery. Zoe’s mom is single and has difficulty pursuing stable relationships. Therefore, this in essence influenced Zoe’s relationships with men. Zoe’s unstable. Zoe’s unstable with men. Zoe’s unstable with her relationship to Daryl. Get it? Got it? Good. Continue reading

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Day 24: One Day

One Day w/ Anne Hathaway & Jim Strugess

As in… one day to my 25th movie! I really thought I was going to fall in love with One Day. It had all the right elements – accents, hot Jim Strugess, Anne Hathaway, success and love. But I didn’t. It felt like it didn’t go in depth in the reasons of why they were so madly deeply in love with each other. I get it, there were time lapses, but still nothing substantial to expound on.

Anyways, it was as whimsical as I wanted. Not the greatest love story or the realest, but valid enough. It was as if the writers decided to create a story that was as predictable as can be, but decided to ruin any hope the viewer has of a happy ending. I guess that part wasn’t predictable. There’s solace in realizing and admitting there are things you can’t have.

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Day 22: Say Anything

Say Anything w/ Cute Cusack

Today’s the last official work day of the year for me. Also day 22. I’m actually quite shock that I’ve managed to watch 22 movies. Although, I’m starting to feel the honeymoon phrase wear out. At first, I felt like I was getting really insightful about these films – starting to categorize themes of love and sentiment…now I’m just picking at the little things. Since it is Cusack week, I just been debating whether his hair seems attractive. Cute Cusack has been approved for this film. Also, has anyone else notice that Cusack scrunches face when he’s thinking? Oh and he’s been in two films with Catherine Zeta-Jones? Just me? Ok.

Anyways, I’ve never seen Say Anything until now. Shocking, I know. The iconic Cusack move never really intrigued me enough to watch it. I’ve been completely missing out. What’s so special about this coming-of-age gem is that it wasn’t too far fetch from the truth. You take risks, hope for the best. Lloyd Dobler hoped that Diana Court would answer her telephone and say yes to the party. She did. Not rocket science to figure that one out. It was cute how he would let her do her own thing and just check in. It wasn’t too much or being neglectful. I loved the scene where he pushed aside glass off the street for her. Really? If that didn’t make you swoon, I don’t know what will. Sometimes, the little things do matter. Obviously, that’s not rocket science either. Continue reading

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Day 21: High Fidelity

High Fidelity w/ Bad Hair Cusack

John Cusack. Bad hair. Bad hair throughout the entire movie. Seriously.

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Day 12: Waiting to Exhale

So, riddle me this? Why aren’t there more romantic comedies like this? Strong women that just happen to be in some vulnerable ass situations. It’s not their fault. It’s not even the men’s fault. Better than Sex and the City, less dramatic than Medea. Tell me there are better stories out there than Tyler Perry. Not that there’s anything wrong with him and his movies, but come on. Pre-crack Whitney Houston done did a good job on this one.

OHHHH, and don’t even get me started on Angela Bassett. She is one badddd chick. I would’ve done the same thing. Jasmine Sullivan playing in the background, strutting it to Irreplaceable.

I always feel bad for the females who leave their friends when they settle down. Now, there’s nothing wrong with wrapping yourselves into your relationship. When love is good, love is real good. But let’s be real, your girls, your friends,your homies – they’ll always have your back. They make you feel like a million dollar bill even when you cry ugly. No one cries pretty, no cries softly either. There’s growth in your relationships, not just between you and your significant other. In fact, in my relationships my friends can easily tell me how I’ve grown, and trust me they’ve seen it all. From the so goods to the so bads, I cherish my handful of friends who never judge me and always support me. I don’t see why there should ever be such an imbalance between both worlds, one pushes the other to make you a better person. Of course, I could just be very optimistic about this, but I’d like to think you can.

“Why you mad for?”

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Day 1: Paper Heart

Paper Heart w/ Cera & Yi

Probably not the best choice to start this, but I was looking through my  lonely collection of DVDs and I realized I haven’t seen this movie for awhile. I remember wanting to watch it during the summer because I was knee deep in my Cera phase. Geeky love, I mean how romantic is that? Then again, I’m typing this with a Star Wars tee on, so that explains a lot. Michael Cera represented a phrase I went through where I admittedly loved socially awkward boys. There was something peculiarly sexy about a guy who just didn’t know how to handle social situations well. Yeah, doesn’t work in real life as I found out. Awkwardly social boys are exactly that – awkward and socially inept.

What I really like about this movie are the snippets where Charlene asks random folks their love stories. I like them because they’re real and show a blend of misfortune with some good luck. Also, animated paper shows doesn’t hurt either. Cera is absolutely adorable in this movie. I almost forgot that. He makes me think that Ellen cut of his is super cute. Watching them kiss though, made me feel painfully awkward, as if I was in that room with them. I loved how the film explored love from different age groups. The ol’ “love knows no age,” comes to mind.  I feel like this could’ve been Judd Apatow’s abandoned lovechild, as you see cameos from the Apatow crew. The story could been more developed, but that’s just me. Charlyne didn’t believe in love, Charlyne meets Michael, they fall in love, conflict, and then resolution. The grown up Juno minus the child. Continue reading

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The start.

The Challenge: to watch a movie about love everyday, for 143 days.

143 movies, 143 days.

The Challenger:  Isidora Torres, a San Jose State University senior, a cynic and a former Michael Cera lover. Someone who probably has had their name misspelled more times than she can count and has been placed in numerous Spanish-speaking classes throughout her childhood. Isidora was inspired by Lawrence Dai and his crazy project, seen here.

Criteria: the movie can be literally anything – B-list romantic comedies, blockbusters, indies – as long as the storyline involves love. Sadly, my friends have made it clear this included the Twilight series (please help me).  The manner in which I chose to watch these movies is at my discretion. This isn’t supposed to be some awesome review/critque of  romantic films, but rather what I put in perspective after watching these films and aligning them with past and present experiences. I can allow myself to multitask but I will devote as much of my attention as I can to each film.

So you’re thinking why do this? Does this girl have an exponentially crazy amount of time? It’s safe to she has no friends, huh? Does she just want to ruthlessly diminish any ounce of hope? She doesn’t like Ryan Gosling? The answer to all these questions is it depends on the day.

Simply put, I’d like to think of myself as part of an ongoing process of being a recovering hopeless romantic. By the age of 21, I’m completely more cynical about the prospect of love. I thought during these years, I would just frivolously put my heart on the line and somehow, magically it would all work itself out. That has yet to happen and obviously, I’m very aware that I have all the time in the world. But I can’t help but feel that a lot of my warped perception of love derived from movies. Obviously, I’ve taken into account that my concept of love is built on several factors, but I do know I can contribute a large portion of it to movies. From Cinderella to The Notebook, they’ve all managed to influence this absurd notion of what I think love is. Let’s be clear, I’m not bitter or devoid of feelings.  And now you ask, what is my notion of love? I can no longer define it because it just doesn’t seem applicable to this day and age. So many games, so many devices. I mean what’s a girl to do? Obviously, Facebook stalk till I get an answer or stare at my phone and once you finally text back, won’t text you back for another five hours. Amiright?

So, I take this challenge in the hopes of not only rewatching some of my favorites but watching some new ones while learning a little more about myself and this crazy little thing we call love.

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