Category Archives: finding love

How to Maintain That Flame: An Update From This Romantic!

Okay, I’m kidding.  I have no freaking clue how to maintain any type of romantic relationship aside from the obvious. But I can update you on the current happenings of this romantic!

After keeping with this blog, I briefly mentioned how I miss the attention I used to give this. I didn’t want to start another “XXX days of …”  because frankly I’d lose my shit. But, I did want to find someway to keep my observations of love and relationships active. Writing…requires a lot of thought. Sometimes, I can’t really do that. What I felt blogging lacked at times was that it was a very one-sided conversation.  It’s hard to start talking about relationships when I’m the only one that’s paranoid.

What’s becoming a part of this solution is that  I’m now part of this awesome network of thoughtful and witty folk who have been my little bits of inspiration in writing. People have shared some really honest and truthful experiences that I have found valuable in not only developing my thoughts about relationships more but generally allowing me to be a part of a conversation. I loved what I was doing and what I was being a part of so much, I’ve decided to help!

I’ll be sharing a couple of muses that I think you all would find interesting and  post a couple of questions I created. Feel free to click the image, it leads you straight to a couple of my favorite muses!

xoxo,

I

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Day 142: The Way We Were

The Way We Were w/ Barbara Streisand & Robert Redford

It’s a familiar story of love, one that is easily recognizable, yet hard to look back on. With a soundtrack from Streisand, it’s difficult not to get a little choked up when watching The Way We Were. Relationships are a complicated thing, but it’s even more complicated when the truth alone is accepted and embraced. Yes, they were socially opposite, but their intentions of love were the same. But over time, they grew, and they grew apart.

He was the best he could be for her when they were together. An often sad but practical viewpoint of life and relationships. Really, that’s all you could ask for. The point of relationships is to grow individually. Your other person should compliment your life, even if that means for temporary. Katie and Hubbell meet in college, an all too familiar setting of transitional phases of life – a breeding ground of insecurity, security and hope. Relationships are a nurturing ground for us to experiments different parts of our lives. I believe that things happen for a reason even in the most darkest of times. Especially romantic relationships. Katie helplessly falls in love but is too independent for Hubbell to handle. But even with that, their romance seems to trek them through the years until they reach a setting conclusion that they were content with the way they were (get it?!).

On to other matters, this project is ending literally tomorrow. CAN WE SAY WHATTTT?!?!!?!?

Hubbell Gardner: When you love someone, from Roosevelt to me, you go deaf, dumb and blind.

 

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Day 141: Cinema Paradiso

Cinema Paradiso w/ Philippe Noiret & Salvatore Cascio

Absolutely hands down one of my favorite movies. There’s always a sense of nostalgia and sadness whenever I watch this film. It clearly details the many facets of passion, desire and love. It begins with a love affair with movies and a divine relationship flourished out of that same passion between Salvatore and Alfredo. Over time, we watch young Salvatore’s affair with movies grow – at first as an admirer then as a director. Yet through trysts of time, we also sadly watch the diminishing relationship with Salvatore and Alfred. It becomes a journey of relentless desire of love and freedom movies from both characters. The significant screen kiss allows us to breathe a bit through the sadness.

The attraction to something worth waiting for. THAT person. That one significant person that we are whole fully dedicated to justify. The longing that occurs is because of the potential, that maybe he’s that person. Sometimes I ponder if that’s silly to do. But sometimes, I’m just that hopeless. Hopelessly desiring the potential but never seeing beyond the obvious. But sometimes, you just need to stop yourself from that desire. It’s a lot of time, effort and feelings wasted for someone else who doesn’t see your potential. Relationships and love should never include a BUT. “You’re great but I can’t give you what you deserve.” Truthfully, you’ll always deserve more than what they can give you BUT the fact that he or she can’t even work toward making possibilities happen means he or she isn’t worth your time. Dating is hard as shit and lonely as fuck BUT there is a silver lining to it I’m sure. Life isn’t like in the movies, where the person who screws up realizes they did in mere moments, nor do they really regret it sorrowfully. While he maybe couldn’t see the potential, he will sooner or later (at least I hope with all the guys I’ve dated). Because at the end of day, you’re an amazing person with the amazing potential to do anything you set yourself up to do BY YOURSELF with the support of those who knew it from the get go, no buts about that.

In Cinema Paradiso, our love for Salvator and Alfredo is truly escalated when we see a gift from Alfredo to Salvatore – a reel of the love scenes that were cut from the films that were shown in the theater. It was a culmination of accomplishment, relief and truly a magical moment that was conceived of a beautiful relationship.

Alfredo: Living here day by day, you think it’s the center of the world. You believe nothing will ever change. Then you leave: a year, two years. When you come back, everything’s changed. The thread’s broken. What you came to find isn’t there. What was yours is gone. You have to go away for a long time… many years… before you can come back and find your people. The land where you were born. But now, no. It’s not possible. Right now you’re blinder than I am.
Salvatore: Who said that? Gary Cooper? James Stewart? Henry Fonda? Eh?
Alfredo: No, Toto. Nobody said it. This time it’s all me. Life isn’t like in the movies. Life… is much harder.

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Day 140: Forgetting Sarah Marshall

Forgetting Sarah Marshall w/ Jason Segal, Mila Kunis & Kirsten Bell

May not be one of the greatest love stories ever told but it’s definitely more reminiscent of many of the guys I know. When guy friends fall in love, it’s absolutely adorable, but on the contrary, when they get hurt it gets ugly. It’s not even endearing where you allow them to cry on your should, it’s physically ugly. You think you cry ugly, imagine a grown man sobbing continuously. Sometimes I like to think I’m blissfully ignorant and truly believe men don’t have feelings. So, when I see one of my guy friends seriously heartbroken it breaks that ignorance especially if what the female did was foul. Because for as much as we place importance on how boys are stupid, girls play just as horribly.

I know too many girls who treat men like crap and always regret it later. There are some great guys there hidden behind the douchebags. While I sometimes forget that, it’s a truth that needs to shine.

But dating sucks as well. There is no human filter that lets you know who to date and who not to date. First impressions are killer and always an unforgivable gateway. Some people really know how to talk and motives are always underlying. But if everything flows naturally, there’s always room to get screwed over. Dating in your 20’s is even more of an obstacle. It’s a weird phase in life where everyone is either settling down or enjoying the single too much. I’m on the verge of complacency in my dating life. Mostly because it’s get tiring to make an awesome impression when most of the time I frankly don’t care.

We’ve seen the Jason Segal men/friends in our lives, they totally deserve a girl like Mila Kunis. How they get them? I will never know. It’s a bro’s bro world out there, anything can happen!

It’s kind’ve crazy that I’m almost done with this project, I must say picking the last of these movies is getting fun.

Peter Bretter: [Drunk and waving a cocktail around at the hotel bar] I’m on Sex and the City…”Ahh, hi Miranda…” “Uhh, I’m Samantha… I have sex with everybody.”

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Day 139: The Shape of Things

The Shape of Things w/ Paul Rudd & Rachel Weisz

“BUT, the great equalizer.”  BUT in so many situations often welcomes in a slew of unwarranted and sometimes disheartening news. The Shape of Things, originally performed on stage , is an interesting parable of morality and sexual cruelty. Adam (played by the adorable Paul Rudd) and Evelyn (played by Rachel Weisz) cross paths at Adam’s work, the museum. The two embark on what is an illusion of dating, at least according to Evelyn later. In tryst with Adam’s former roommate, we start to understand the complexities of morale and what determines a “better” person. Evelyn heartlessly experiments with morale, manipulation and more importantly, free will, by inadvertently suggesting Paul changes. His changes would eventually lead to weight lost, change of clothes, loss of friends, a nose job…everything. Evelyn delivers her motives to the public in her thesis presentation. She claims that he is now “better” for society according to their standards. BUT, is that really better? Continue reading

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Day 138: Chalet Girl

Chalet Girl w/ Felicity Jones & Ed Westwick

While it doesn’t stray too far away from the formulaic “girl-next-door meets hot rich boy” plot line, Chalet Girl brings forth a refreshing leading lady to the genre. The last time I saw Felicity Jones was in Like Crazy, and she was border lining obsessive girlfriend minus the comic relief. In this film, we get to really see Jones in a more comedic light while still portraying her well-done bit of “don’t notice me, I’m normal.” I feel her pain of penny-pinching while all the world is reckless. Shit happens to me on the daily. I say I won’t spend on drinking, but it’s definitely easier said than done. But what’s a single girl to do?

Being single is difficult enough, being single and broke is even worse. Jones’s character, Kimmy, decides to take the unfanciful job of chalet girl, a fancier maid, in hopes to save some dough to help her dad. Sounds easy enough but she’s surrounded by folks who just want to get thrashed and enjoy the alps life. When she downs a glass of $500 Dom, she quickly realizes she just drank her rent money. Ouch. I read somewhere that Jones did some character research and voluntarily worked at ski resort, cleaning barf and all. Good for her.

Ultimately, this one rom-com that didn’t make me want to puke. Maybe it’s the accents, who knows.

Kim: No, irony is free. It’s sarcasm you’re paying for. Ironically.

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Day 136: Anatasia

Anastasia w/ Meg Ryan & John Cusack

I knew after watching My Fair Lady, I found similarities to Anastasia. I love this animated film! Go figure it has Meg Ryan and John Cusack as the voices of Dimitri and Anastasia.

Side note: I remember being in high school and making the bet that Anastasia was a Disney film, clearly I was mistaken. But just some random trivia, Anastasia became the highest-grossing non-Disney animated film in 1997.

 

Don’t lie, you know you imagined yourself some lost grand duchess of Russia hoping to be discovered.

 

Dimitri: If we live through this, remind me to thank you.

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Day 135: My Fair Lady

My Fair Lady w/ Audrey Hepburn

Good grief, I don’t understand why it has taken me this long to see this film. I love Miss Eliza Doolitte and I loved that Audrey Hepburn played her. I still saw a bit of Holly Golightly in Eliza. Despite her transformation, her quirkiness still strikes through.

The project boyfriend/girlfriend has been a thing for centuries. From Pygmalion to She’s All That, we’re stuck in the belief that we can change someone. Albeit not emotional changes (because we won’t succeed) but just mere physical changes. Cutting the hair, adding the glasses, plucking the unibrow – those changes.

I’ve been blessed and cursed to deal with project boyfriends. It’s not fun but definitely challenging. It’s not like I didn’t love them for them, I just didn’t like how they dress themselves. Picture this: tall tees, sagging jeans and Air Forces. Yeah, no thanks. I don’t care how “Bay” that look was, my eyes were not approving one bit. Just a brief shopping spree and a bit of compliments, and man did they start to look better. I personally don’t think there’s anything wrong with clothing suggestions…I mean, you’re helping them. They’ll thank you later, trust me, they will.

Eliza was a different case, she expanded more than just her speaking abilities but really evolved into a well-developed woman.
Continue reading

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Day 133: XX/XY

XX/XY w/ Mark Ruffalo

Oh boy. Boys and girls never seem to just get along no matter how adult we think we are.

Thanks for reinstating the notion that my twenties are going to a hotbed of unrequited emotional turbulence. Awesome.

Side note: I’m a sucker for Mark Ruffalo but this was even more ridiculous than I expected.

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Day 131: Roxanne

Roxanne w/ Steve Martin

Everyone just wants to be loved no matter how much they deny it.

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