Category Archives: First time

How to Maintain That Flame: An Update From This Romantic!

Okay, I’m kidding.  I have no freaking clue how to maintain any type of romantic relationship aside from the obvious. But I can update you on the current happenings of this romantic!

After keeping with this blog, I briefly mentioned how I miss the attention I used to give this. I didn’t want to start another “XXX days of …”  because frankly I’d lose my shit. But, I did want to find someway to keep my observations of love and relationships active. Writing…requires a lot of thought. Sometimes, I can’t really do that. What I felt blogging lacked at times was that it was a very one-sided conversation.  It’s hard to start talking about relationships when I’m the only one that’s paranoid.

What’s becoming a part of this solution is that  I’m now part of this awesome network of thoughtful and witty folk who have been my little bits of inspiration in writing. People have shared some really honest and truthful experiences that I have found valuable in not only developing my thoughts about relationships more but generally allowing me to be a part of a conversation. I loved what I was doing and what I was being a part of so much, I’ve decided to help!

I’ll be sharing a couple of muses that I think you all would find interesting and  post a couple of questions I created. Feel free to click the image, it leads you straight to a couple of my favorite muses!

xoxo,

I

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Day 134: Bride Wars

Bride Wars w/ Anne Hathaway & Kate Hudson

Maybe it’s because I’ll always love Anne Hathaway, but I actually decided to watch this ridiculous romantic comedy. In some weird way, it clearly depicted how deranged we are as society to embark on crazy antics in hopes of a “perfect” day.

Wedding days should be a culmination of both work and love. Because it does indeed take time and effort. But it should take on the extreme measures as these ladies have chosen to make it the best. The wedding is the party, but the planning and effort should be focused on the relationship primarily.

Weddings are no doubt beautiful. I’ve spent many hours imagining how my wedding would be. Sadly, I can provide swatches immediately if needed. But then I start to think it all really depends on the type of love and relationship I foster with my significant partner that would really describe and make the wedding even more special. My parents didn’t have a grand wedding, a nice ceremony with friends and family. I was the flower girl, a weird feeling in retrospect. Weddings should never be a competition, but rather a celebration of all things merry.

I will admit though, I’ll probably be a bridezilla with my wedding planning. I feel sorry for the MOH and bridesmaids. Ya’ll better rest up now in the time being.

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Day 120: Grosse Pointe Blank

Grosse Pointe Blank w/ John Cusack & Minnie Driver

Another Cusack winner. Awesome hair this time. I actually really like Grosse Pointe Blank, granted that Cusack plays a depressed hit man. You know, all the makings of a perfect lover. But in essence, Cusack brings to Martin a sense of humanity and morale despite being in an occupation that ends both. Love becomes a motivating factor to change for the better, Martin’s last salvation to gain a heart.

Toward the end of the movie, Martin confesses to Debi that he was ready for the commitment and that all along, he was always just afraid. Classic “boy turns into man” route, hell classic “everyone” route. Commitment in general seems like an on-going issue when it comes to couples. Is it really hard to be solely devoted to one person? I guess so. We attribute so many different factors to explain wandering eyes, but at the end of the day, shouldn’t we be able that our eyes are only transfixed for one person? But then there’s that volatile time in everyone’s life where we need to figure out what we need before we settle. In Martin’s case, he decided working for the CIA and then running his own business of death seemed like the operative answer. I’m assuming that isn’t like everyone’s case. It always makes me wonder what makes people just know immediately that this is worth fighting for despite all other odds.

Marty: I’m sorry if I fucked up your life.
Debi: It’s not over yet.

 

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Day 117: Practical Magic

Practical Magic w/ Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman

This just proves that you don’t mess with women who have power, both in the literal and metaphorical sense. Yes, women sure can be crazy, but let’s be real, their instincts on many a man have been more true than wrong.

I used to think women’s instincts were just a fallacy. You know, like love. But, I’ve seen it more than once, including my own, when a woman’s gut instinct is spot on. It’s actually pretty scary. Just to know something isn’t right and within minutes prove that theory. My mom has it and I know I sure have it. But instincts are clearly different than assumptions. Let’s be clear on those distinctions. Assumptions all the time are just insecurities reflected through poorly made decisions.

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Day 116: Listen to Your Heart

Listen to Your Heart w/ Cybil Shepard

Musician falls in love with a deaf girl. That’s cute.

Day 113: Shakespeare in Love

Shakespeare in Love w/ Paltrow and Fiennes

One of my favorite plays and coincidentally adaptions of Shakespeare’s, sort of. It’s fun and insightful, it also lends a sense of understanding of Romeo and Juliet despite its fantasy. Paltrow and Fiennes deliver excellent performances as Shakespeare and Lady Viola.

Some of the craziest pieces of work are influenced by love. Love makes you feel  things you otherwise wouldn’t have. Being inspired by love is such a beautiful thing. There’s something about plays and novels that are able to capture such indefinite feelings.

A side note, of course on spring break my body decides to malfunction and I’m stuck in bed. So literally this is what my day will consist of: cough, cough, medicine, movie, cough, medicine, Mad Men.

I bid you all adieu!

Viola de Lesseps: [as Thomas Kent] Tell me how you love her, Will.
William Shakespeare: Like a sickness and its cure together.

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Day 108: New Moon

Ditto.

Um. Jacob looks like he has a good weave in.

Okay, I get it. Everyone wants to be passionately seduced the way Edward does to Bella. And I get that Bella is supposed to represent average day Jane, hence why the seduction is even more enticing. I don’t know. I have no idea. Please help me.

 

 

 

 

“You give me everything just by breathing.”

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Day 104: Love Actually

Love Actually w/ Actually Good Cast

“Love is actually all around.” It sure is, and sometimes it’s depressing. It’s been equally hard maintaing any type of romantic relationship while in this midst of project. I’ve equally set up unrealistic expectations from these movies and some of my own. But, in the process, I’ve learned so much as a woman who deserves a good relationship.

Tips to the girl who has been broken-hearted one too many times. It’s okay to want a relationship. It’s okay to be the cool girl. So, it’s okay to be the cool girl who wants a relationship. I know the type of a woman I am. I know what I deserve. I’m the type of girl that doesn’t need your attention desperately, but needs you to pay attention. I don’t need to be wine and dined all the time, but consideration into a good night never hurts. More importantly, I want to be in love. And being in love doesn’t change the type of woman I am, if anything, it makes me better. I’ve been afraid to admit I’m the cool girl who wants a relationship. I’ve been great at playing cool to the ubiquitous “new guy,” but eventually I always want more. In turn, that’s where being cool backfires.

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Day 99: Umbrellas of Cherbourg

Umbrellas of Cherbourg w/ Catherine Denevue

In keeping with my theme of love and song, I decided to watch Umbrellas of Cherbourg. My friend has repeatedly insisted that I watch this because it claims to be one of the most romantic films on the face of the Earth. Okay, I’m exaggerating but truthfully, it’s incredibly romantic. If life was lived through music, this would be it. It’s entirely  played with song, more than musical, almost an opera. It’s a tragic story of love lost and love found. I wanted to be completely in tune, so subtitles were off for me.

What’s remarkable about this film is that it allows the audience to want and yearn for Guy’s and Genevieve’s relationship. While we set up our expectations, we’re left with the truth that they are in fact married to someone else…and what’s worse, is that they’re happy. I’ll be damned if I said I didn’t expect a happy ending, but it was…just not the typical happy ending. What makes this film touch home is that that it allows to understand the complexities of life and what we choose to accept. Yes, we want Guy and  Genevieve together, but it’s not where their fate lies. So maybe that’s something we can tuck away in our pocket while we whisk ourselves away to Paris.

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Day 95: Always Learning

Go SJSU!

If you’re fortunate enough to have cinema festivals, you absolutely have to go. If you’re also fortunate enough to have a school that participates in the festival, then support the hell out of that film. Always Learning was produced by SJSU production studios and made with fellow SJSU students/professors/their moms. It was a great coming of age film with an odd focus of romance blossoming in the sea of awkwardness. In this film, we watch Tobia (awkward name) enter the world of bad-assery much to his mother’s dismay. He willingly leaves his former world, being home-schooled with your occasional nerds and kid-children, to join Joey and his sister and their more than dysfunctional lives. We’re talking about extremely dysfunctional. We want to have hope for Samantha and Tobia’s relationship, I mean she did let him experience his first sexual encounter a.k.a. touch her boob. But alas, she’s too fucked up to save. We can only hope that she learns something from the innocence that Tobia brings with him. Not everything has an evil intention despite your life experiences. Easier said than done.

Why do coming of age films always regard some unlikely opportunity for a romance to grow. Because I’m pretty sure during my awkward years, I didn’t just coincidentally meet someone who would change my world forever. Me thinks this is an abusrd fallacy, coming of age just literally means you’re suffering a good amount of awkwardness for a substantial amount of 4 years before you do anything remotely cool.

Hey, at least Joey didn’t just magically change over time. He’s still an asshole..without a girlfriend.

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