How to Maintain That Flame: An Update From This Romantic!

Okay, I’m kidding.  I have no freaking clue how to maintain any type of romantic relationship aside from the obvious. But I can update you on the current happenings of this romantic!

After keeping with this blog, I briefly mentioned how I miss the attention I used to give this. I didn’t want to start another “XXX days of …”  because frankly I’d lose my shit. But, I did want to find someway to keep my observations of love and relationships active. Writing…requires a lot of thought. Sometimes, I can’t really do that. What I felt blogging lacked at times was that it was a very one-sided conversation.  It’s hard to start talking about relationships when I’m the only one that’s paranoid.

What’s becoming a part of this solution is that  I’m now part of this awesome network of thoughtful and witty folk who have been my little bits of inspiration in writing. People have shared some really honest and truthful experiences that I have found valuable in not only developing my thoughts about relationships more but generally allowing me to be a part of a conversation. I loved what I was doing and what I was being a part of so much, I’ve decided to help!

I’ll be sharing a couple of muses that I think you all would find interesting and  post a couple of questions I created. Feel free to click the image, it leads you straight to a couple of my favorite muses!

xoxo,

I

Day 136: Anatasia

Anastasia w/ Meg Ryan & John Cusack

I knew after watching My Fair Lady, I found similarities to Anastasia. I love this animated film! Go figure it has Meg Ryan and John Cusack as the voices of Dimitri and Anastasia.

Side note: I remember being in high school and making the bet that Anastasia was a Disney film, clearly I was mistaken. But just some random trivia, Anastasia became the highest-grossing non-Disney animated film in 1997.

 

Don’t lie, you know you imagined yourself some lost grand duchess of Russia hoping to be discovered.

 

Dimitri: If we live through this, remind me to thank you.

Day 128: Arthur

Arthur w/ Dudley Moore & Liza Minnelli

Liza Minnelli is absolutely wonderful in this film. Boys suck. Rich boys with egos suck. What’s worse is if you actually like one. I wouldn’t know but I’m assuming there goes a decent amount of pressure.

You actually feel bad for Arthur. It’s the making of a good woman with good ambitions that make him realize he doesn’t want to marry the other woman. He actually grows up in the face of adulthood. Sacrifice should never be forced but welcomed with the promise that a better life awaits. In matters of life and love, the choices we make determine what kind of person we want to be. Obviously, these bits of truth are anything but new. In love, those choices are often veiled under confusion and miscommunication, so it’s only promising that we often make bad choices in love. Being blinded in love almost always happens to everyone. No one is ever smartly in love. Am I right?

Anyways, the remake of Arthur with Russell Brand seems incomparable. Completely doesn’t do it justice.

[about Hobson after she gives her phone number to Arthur]
Linda: Wouldn’t it be funny if *he* called me?
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Day 124: The Wedding Singer

The Wedding Singer w/ Adam Sandler & Drew Barrymore

I don’t care how stupid Adam Sandler is most of the time, he’s the ultimate schmuck worth falling for.

The most note worthy piece of advice I’ve ever heard about love is to find someone who loves you more than you love them. What’s strange is that it seems like an open invitation to someone’s feeling being hurt, but in reality, it doesn’t. It’s a weird paradox, finding someone that loves you more so you don’t get hurt. But thinking about it conversely, would the other person feel like you love them more than they love you? Tricky.

BUT.

I love hard. I love fully. I am not one to hold back especially when I’m sure. A lot of it’s naivety, but a lot of it is because I believe in loving unconditionally. I don’t want to know that he loves me more than I love him.  Why must the glass always be half filled when we can share the damn pitcher?

It always gets me when Robbie sings to Julia.

Day 123: Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World

Scott Pilgrim Vs. the World w/ Michael Cera

I get why boys like it. It’s total video game/comic book mayhem or rather relationship troubles presented with visual sound effects. Hence why they like this kind of stuff. Does this mean I should start flashing a sign in the sky to ask for help when they screw up?

Not to get completely sappy on a movie that clearly doesn’t resemble a romantic love story, you gotta admit…Scotty boy over there fighting all of Ramona’s exes is pretty endearing. Pretty sweet considering he just probably met her. That’s a whole lot of baggage to get over. Most guys are out the door once you even mentioned you got some emotional packages lingering around. Well, M. Cera doesn’t fail at all at his role as Scott Pilgrim. He could use a haircut though.

Stacey Pilgrim: Next time, we don’t date the girl with eleven evil ex-boyfriends.
Scott Pilgrim: It’s seven.
Stacey Pilgrim: Oh, well, that’s not that bad.

Day 119: Bridget Jones’s Diary

Bridget Jones's Diary w/ Renee Zellweger

If I ever breach this brand of singleness before I’m thirty, please slap the silly out of me.

 

 

 

 

 

Daniel Cleaver: Come on Bridget, we belong together – you, me, poor little skirt. If I can’t make it with you then I can’t make it with anyone.
Bridget: That’s not a good enough offer for me.

Day 104: Love Actually

Love Actually w/ Actually Good Cast

“Love is actually all around.” It sure is, and sometimes it’s depressing. It’s been equally hard maintaing any type of romantic relationship while in this midst of project. I’ve equally set up unrealistic expectations from these movies and some of my own. But, in the process, I’ve learned so much as a woman who deserves a good relationship.

Tips to the girl who has been broken-hearted one too many times. It’s okay to want a relationship. It’s okay to be the cool girl. So, it’s okay to be the cool girl who wants a relationship. I know the type of a woman I am. I know what I deserve. I’m the type of girl that doesn’t need your attention desperately, but needs you to pay attention. I don’t need to be wine and dined all the time, but consideration into a good night never hurts. More importantly, I want to be in love. And being in love doesn’t change the type of woman I am, if anything, it makes me better. I’ve been afraid to admit I’m the cool girl who wants a relationship. I’ve been great at playing cool to the ubiquitous “new guy,” but eventually I always want more. In turn, that’s where being cool backfires.

Day 97: You’ve Got Mail!

You've Got Mail w/ Tom Hanks & Meg Ryan

Now, I’m not saying this is one of the better romantic comedies out there, but let’s all admit Ryan and Hanks are pretty enjoyable duo. This movie brings a valid point though. As humans, our modes of interaction have tremendously shifted. An initial contact is one thing, whether it’s in person or online, maintaining contact is a whole another game. It’s difficult enough already to want to get to know someone, it’s incredibly harder to open up ourselves through text and Facebook messages. Hell, I don’t even talk on the phone all that much. But yet, it somehow all works and doesn’t simultaneously.

The secret rituals of dating have all adapted to these forms of communication. Yet, what I’m curious to know is what are the best practices of dating in the digital age. Do we text first to get in the clear? Do we call or is that doing too much? Not to mention you have to include pithy banter to even sound remotely interesting or else you’re screwed. There’s some aversion with tech, we either absolutely allow  ourselves to be open or we’re able to shield our imperfections through these mediums.

Ah, the joys of dating.

Also, I think it’s utterly too cute that they bonded over a fondness of books. Who doesn’t love a man who can read, and read good books, at that.

George Pappas: Well, as far as I’m concerned, the Internet is just another way of being rejected by women.

Day 91: Sense and Sensibility

Sense and Sensability

Like all of Jane Austen’s novels, Sense and Sensibility serves its devout focus on the female heroines. What came into mind as I watched the film, is that undoubtedly the displays of affection have not changed over time. Cloaked with even the sweetest of English accents, and to no avail you will find me cringing at the ridiculousness that is birthed from affection. Maybe that’s why so many females can relate to Austen’s work, she understands that women can be sensible. But much to our dismay, our sensibility is mistaken for lack of common sense. How does that even happen? But, I will admit, even in my darkest times, my own logic sounds like bat shit. Anyways, back to the cringing. My friends know me as the Bitter Betty of relationship-dom. It’s not that I don’t like displays of affection, I do. I just strongly dislike overtly gross public displays of affection. I’m sure someone has created a meter for such vile acts. Yeah, I get it. You really love him. Okay, I don’t need to know how much you love him by sticking your tongue down his throat while you take a picture. I think I’m good.

So my theories that remain are: to be sensible is to be crazy, to make out in public is still gross no matter the century. The end.

Marianne: Pathetic? To die for love? How can you say so? What could be more glorious?
Mrs. Dashwood: I think that would be taking your romantic sensibilities a little far.

DAy 84: Eat, Pray, Love

Eat. Pray. Love w/ Julia Roberts and hot men

I’m sure if I was going through a mid-life crisis, I’d want Julia Robert’s without hesitation. Travel the world and “seek” for balance. Where do I sign up?

In all honesty, I probably have suffered a couple of early twenty-something year old crisies. Let’s not get started about the anxiety that occurs about my future. My love life is a whole another travesty. Finding ourselves seems to be an on-going phrase of our lives. Striving for balance seems to be a never-ending obstacle beyond college and our adult years. Basically, unhappiness can even creep in the most inconvenient times of our lives.  Even if we have our “happily ever after,” is that even satisfactory? Liz was married and successful. Realistically, a fairy tale to many. But, she decided she wasn’t happy with any of it and left. She pursued what she believed would make sense to her. What’s interesting about Liz’s journey is that she’s constantly reminded that she wants a man in her life. It’s difficult to find the line between needing a man because it’s necessary versus the wondrous opportunities that occur while sharing your life with someone. Needing and sharing are two very different things. Yet, I still can’t find the distinction nor do I think ever will as long as my Beyonce albums are still in tact.

Let’s face it, she was afraid to fall in love again because everything else before that failed. What she learned in Bali from the medicine man was that it’s okay to takes risks because balance will restore itself. The “physics of the quest,” if you’re brave enough to leave comfort, and “set out for a truth-seeking adventure, externally or internally, …and willing to regard everything on the journey as a clue and accept everyone as a teacher, the truth will not be held from you.”

“Let’s cross over.”