Category Archives: Love

How to Maintain That Flame: An Update From This Romantic!

Okay, I’m kidding.  I have no freaking clue how to maintain any type of romantic relationship aside from the obvious. But I can update you on the current happenings of this romantic!

After keeping with this blog, I briefly mentioned how I miss the attention I used to give this. I didn’t want to start another “XXX days of …”  because frankly I’d lose my shit. But, I did want to find someway to keep my observations of love and relationships active. Writing…requires a lot of thought. Sometimes, I can’t really do that. What I felt blogging lacked at times was that it was a very one-sided conversation.  It’s hard to start talking about relationships when I’m the only one that’s paranoid.

What’s becoming a part of this solution is that  I’m now part of this awesome network of thoughtful and witty folk who have been my little bits of inspiration in writing. People have shared some really honest and truthful experiences that I have found valuable in not only developing my thoughts about relationships more but generally allowing me to be a part of a conversation. I loved what I was doing and what I was being a part of so much, I’ve decided to help!

I’ll be sharing a couple of muses that I think you all would find interesting and  post a couple of questions I created. Feel free to click the image, it leads you straight to a couple of my favorite muses!

xoxo,

I

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Day 142: The Way We Were

The Way We Were w/ Barbara Streisand & Robert Redford

It’s a familiar story of love, one that is easily recognizable, yet hard to look back on. With a soundtrack from Streisand, it’s difficult not to get a little choked up when watching The Way We Were. Relationships are a complicated thing, but it’s even more complicated when the truth alone is accepted and embraced. Yes, they were socially opposite, but their intentions of love were the same. But over time, they grew, and they grew apart.

He was the best he could be for her when they were together. An often sad but practical viewpoint of life and relationships. Really, that’s all you could ask for. The point of relationships is to grow individually. Your other person should compliment your life, even if that means for temporary. Katie and Hubbell meet in college, an all too familiar setting of transitional phases of life – a breeding ground of insecurity, security and hope. Relationships are a nurturing ground for us to experiments different parts of our lives. I believe that things happen for a reason even in the most darkest of times. Especially romantic relationships. Katie helplessly falls in love but is too independent for Hubbell to handle. But even with that, their romance seems to trek them through the years until they reach a setting conclusion that they were content with the way they were (get it?!).

On to other matters, this project is ending literally tomorrow. CAN WE SAY WHATTTT?!?!!?!?

Hubbell Gardner: When you love someone, from Roosevelt to me, you go deaf, dumb and blind.

 

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Day 141: Cinema Paradiso

Cinema Paradiso w/ Philippe Noiret & Salvatore Cascio

Absolutely hands down one of my favorite movies. There’s always a sense of nostalgia and sadness whenever I watch this film. It clearly details the many facets of passion, desire and love. It begins with a love affair with movies and a divine relationship flourished out of that same passion between Salvatore and Alfredo. Over time, we watch young Salvatore’s affair with movies grow – at first as an admirer then as a director. Yet through trysts of time, we also sadly watch the diminishing relationship with Salvatore and Alfred. It becomes a journey of relentless desire of love and freedom movies from both characters. The significant screen kiss allows us to breathe a bit through the sadness.

The attraction to something worth waiting for. THAT person. That one significant person that we are whole fully dedicated to justify. The longing that occurs is because of the potential, that maybe he’s that person. Sometimes I ponder if that’s silly to do. But sometimes, I’m just that hopeless. Hopelessly desiring the potential but never seeing beyond the obvious. But sometimes, you just need to stop yourself from that desire. It’s a lot of time, effort and feelings wasted for someone else who doesn’t see your potential. Relationships and love should never include a BUT. “You’re great but I can’t give you what you deserve.” Truthfully, you’ll always deserve more than what they can give you BUT the fact that he or she can’t even work toward making possibilities happen means he or she isn’t worth your time. Dating is hard as shit and lonely as fuck BUT there is a silver lining to it I’m sure. Life isn’t like in the movies, where the person who screws up realizes they did in mere moments, nor do they really regret it sorrowfully. While he maybe couldn’t see the potential, he will sooner or later (at least I hope with all the guys I’ve dated). Because at the end of day, you’re an amazing person with the amazing potential to do anything you set yourself up to do BY YOURSELF with the support of those who knew it from the get go, no buts about that.

In Cinema Paradiso, our love for Salvator and Alfredo is truly escalated when we see a gift from Alfredo to Salvatore – a reel of the love scenes that were cut from the films that were shown in the theater. It was a culmination of accomplishment, relief and truly a magical moment that was conceived of a beautiful relationship.

Alfredo: Living here day by day, you think it’s the center of the world. You believe nothing will ever change. Then you leave: a year, two years. When you come back, everything’s changed. The thread’s broken. What you came to find isn’t there. What was yours is gone. You have to go away for a long time… many years… before you can come back and find your people. The land where you were born. But now, no. It’s not possible. Right now you’re blinder than I am.
Salvatore: Who said that? Gary Cooper? James Stewart? Henry Fonda? Eh?
Alfredo: No, Toto. Nobody said it. This time it’s all me. Life isn’t like in the movies. Life… is much harder.

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Day 139: The Shape of Things

The Shape of Things w/ Paul Rudd & Rachel Weisz

“BUT, the great equalizer.”  BUT in so many situations often welcomes in a slew of unwarranted and sometimes disheartening news. The Shape of Things, originally performed on stage , is an interesting parable of morality and sexual cruelty. Adam (played by the adorable Paul Rudd) and Evelyn (played by Rachel Weisz) cross paths at Adam’s work, the museum. The two embark on what is an illusion of dating, at least according to Evelyn later. In tryst with Adam’s former roommate, we start to understand the complexities of morale and what determines a “better” person. Evelyn heartlessly experiments with morale, manipulation and more importantly, free will, by inadvertently suggesting Paul changes. His changes would eventually lead to weight lost, change of clothes, loss of friends, a nose job…everything. Evelyn delivers her motives to the public in her thesis presentation. She claims that he is now “better” for society according to their standards. BUT, is that really better? Continue reading

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Day 137: The Seven Year Itch

The Seven Year Itch w/ Marilyn Monroe & Tom Ewell

The ubiquitous primal male urge, especially one whose wife is out for the summer, becomes the driving attraction in The Seven Year Itch. Oh yeah, and Marilyn Monroe too. Richard Sherman, played by Tom Ewell, is under the impression that an infidelity would occur on the premise that since his marriage has reached its seven years, his “itch” for other women, especially the Girl upstairs, is finally tested. Will he scratch it? In the film, no such thing occurs. While his fantasies get a bit rowdy, Sherman ends each sentiment lonely and empty-handed. Good for his wife?

Do I buy that romance may slip away momentarily in couples, sure I do. Do I think the seven year itch actually happens? Probably not. I’ve heard about the two-year hump, but a seven year itch seems like a stretch. No man’s an island, and I don’t think any amount of time would determine if a person is necessarily waned into committing adultery. After all, Sherman’s wife is in Maine. That already screams trouble for their marriage.  Luckily, Sherman is completely paranoid, which counters his wild imagination, and becomes deathly afraid of his wife discovering his less than satisfactory  thoughts about the Girl upstairs. Yeah, I’m sure his paranoia just saved him a marriage.

To be honest, Monroe’s overall performance is a bit lacking. While we can’t deny her presence in the film, her vent scene was the only thing worth getting excited for. Definitely wasn’t a groundbreaking performance by any means. But that’s okay, it’s Marilyn.

The Girl: You’re married. I KNEW it! You LOOK married.

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Day 136: Anatasia

Anastasia w/ Meg Ryan & John Cusack

I knew after watching My Fair Lady, I found similarities to Anastasia. I love this animated film! Go figure it has Meg Ryan and John Cusack as the voices of Dimitri and Anastasia.

Side note: I remember being in high school and making the bet that Anastasia was a Disney film, clearly I was mistaken. But just some random trivia, Anastasia became the highest-grossing non-Disney animated film in 1997.

 

Don’t lie, you know you imagined yourself some lost grand duchess of Russia hoping to be discovered.

 

Dimitri: If we live through this, remind me to thank you.

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Day 135: My Fair Lady

My Fair Lady w/ Audrey Hepburn

Good grief, I don’t understand why it has taken me this long to see this film. I love Miss Eliza Doolitte and I loved that Audrey Hepburn played her. I still saw a bit of Holly Golightly in Eliza. Despite her transformation, her quirkiness still strikes through.

The project boyfriend/girlfriend has been a thing for centuries. From Pygmalion to She’s All That, we’re stuck in the belief that we can change someone. Albeit not emotional changes (because we won’t succeed) but just mere physical changes. Cutting the hair, adding the glasses, plucking the unibrow – those changes.

I’ve been blessed and cursed to deal with project boyfriends. It’s not fun but definitely challenging. It’s not like I didn’t love them for them, I just didn’t like how they dress themselves. Picture this: tall tees, sagging jeans and Air Forces. Yeah, no thanks. I don’t care how “Bay” that look was, my eyes were not approving one bit. Just a brief shopping spree and a bit of compliments, and man did they start to look better. I personally don’t think there’s anything wrong with clothing suggestions…I mean, you’re helping them. They’ll thank you later, trust me, they will.

Eliza was a different case, she expanded more than just her speaking abilities but really evolved into a well-developed woman.
Continue reading

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Day 134: Bride Wars

Bride Wars w/ Anne Hathaway & Kate Hudson

Maybe it’s because I’ll always love Anne Hathaway, but I actually decided to watch this ridiculous romantic comedy. In some weird way, it clearly depicted how deranged we are as society to embark on crazy antics in hopes of a “perfect” day.

Wedding days should be a culmination of both work and love. Because it does indeed take time and effort. But it should take on the extreme measures as these ladies have chosen to make it the best. The wedding is the party, but the planning and effort should be focused on the relationship primarily.

Weddings are no doubt beautiful. I’ve spent many hours imagining how my wedding would be. Sadly, I can provide swatches immediately if needed. But then I start to think it all really depends on the type of love and relationship I foster with my significant partner that would really describe and make the wedding even more special. My parents didn’t have a grand wedding, a nice ceremony with friends and family. I was the flower girl, a weird feeling in retrospect. Weddings should never be a competition, but rather a celebration of all things merry.

I will admit though, I’ll probably be a bridezilla with my wedding planning. I feel sorry for the MOH and bridesmaids. Ya’ll better rest up now in the time being.

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Day 132: Carnage

Carnage w/ John C. Reilly, Jodie Foster, Kate Winslet & Christoper Waltz

If you haven’t seen the play, I highly recommend it. Carnage is a dual force. The movie implicitly shows the darker dynamics of marriage by showing the demise of two couples into pure chaos. What starts out to be an amicable attempt to get their sons to apologize, with the help of alcohol,  inevitably becomes a war of sexism and morale between two marriages.

What’s sad is that each side is relatively accurate about life, love and marriage. No one can really disagree but everyone can agree. Sometimes, we just purposely slay each other. We dig and dig to find some speckle of happiness over years and years of unhappiness. Sure, we’re all happy some of the time, but sometimes even the unhappiness seeps in a bit deeper. We’re all fucked. We’re even more fucked with the existence of alcohol in our systems. Here these two adults try to set primary example to their children, but are still relatively clueless themselves. As I get older, I only hope that I’m a bit wiser, but that notion is always fully defeated when I look at last night’s mistakes. I’m no walking hot mess, but I got a slew of fucked up shit that wouldn’t make anyone dream of unicorns and sunshine.

American couples need to see this movie, this may or may not decrease the annual visits to the therapist. Just saying.

Penelope Longstreet: I DON’T HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR AND I DON’T WANT ONE!

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Day 130: Sweet November

Sweet November w/ Keanu Reeves & Charlize Theron

Have you started to see a movie that you knew was bad right when it started, but you couldn’t stop because by that time you were in too deep? Yeah, that’s what it was like watching this movie.

I think I was reeled in because it said that Keanu Reeves played an advertising executive. What ad executive has 7 different channels play all day in an attempt to find inspiration? Tell me, who? I get the workaholic routine, but really? And you would let some psycho bitch come into your life that easily? If some hobo was sitting on my Benz, chilling, she would for sure get a beat down. No questions asked.

I mean the movie in theory is pretty sweet. She wanted to change his life because her’s was ending. Sweet, right? It was a bit sad that she wanted to disappear completely so he wouldn’t see her die. But still, a bit more consideration should’ve been there. He loved after all. Kind’ve selfish if you really think about it.

It was a bit painful to watch, mostly because it seemed a bit contrived with a trite script. Oh well, can’t win them all.

 

Sara: What are you doing?
Nelson Moss: Buying redemption.
Sara: Redemption’s not for sale today.

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