Category Archives: sweet

Day 130: Sweet November

Sweet November w/ Keanu Reeves & Charlize Theron

Have you started to see a movie that you knew was bad right when it started, but you couldn’t stop because by that time you were in too deep? Yeah, that’s what it was like watching this movie.

I think I was reeled in because it said that Keanu Reeves played an advertising executive. What ad executive has 7 different channels play all day in an attempt to find inspiration? Tell me, who? I get the workaholic routine, but really? And you would let some psycho bitch come into your life that easily? If some hobo was sitting on my Benz, chilling, she would for sure get a beat down. No questions asked.

I mean the movie in theory is pretty sweet. She wanted to change his life because her’s was ending. Sweet, right? It was a bit sad that she wanted to disappear completely so he wouldn’t see her die. But still, a bit more consideration should’ve been there. He loved after all. Kind’ve selfish if you really think about it.

It was a bit painful to watch, mostly because it seemed a bit contrived with a trite script. Oh well, can’t win them all.

 

Sara: What are you doing?
Nelson Moss: Buying redemption.
Sara: Redemption’s not for sale today.

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Day 122: Mystic Pizza

Mystic Pizza w/ Julia Roberts...and etc.

It’s Julia Roberts! Shocker!

I can’t help but relate with the sisters – to fall in love and get the hell out of a small town. Although, I wouldn’t consider where I live a small town, but small enough to see people from high school still. I often daydream the hell out of my future. Nowhere in my future does it say me being whisked away and living in San Jose. No thanks. My ubiquitous white fence is replaced with city lights and a window. The happy husband making the daily bread is replaced with me making my own bacon and possibly raising a family. My idea of the future doesn’t correlate with suburbia, not even in the slightest form. I’m not quite sure what made me not want that, but it somehow formed away.

Anyways, this movie made me have an incredible craving for pizza.

Bill: [to Jojo] I’m tellin you I LOVE YOU, and all you love is my *dick*! Do you know how that makes me feel?

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Day 119: Bridget Jones’s Diary

Bridget Jones's Diary w/ Renee Zellweger

If I ever breach this brand of singleness before I’m thirty, please slap the silly out of me.

 

 

 

 

 

Daniel Cleaver: Come on Bridget, we belong together – you, me, poor little skirt. If I can’t make it with you then I can’t make it with anyone.
Bridget: That’s not a good enough offer for me.

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Day 107: Twilight

Twlight w/ Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson

What. The. Fuck. I want my two hours back and I can’t believe I watched this fuckery. I get it, he bedazzles and she’s in dire need of some adoration and affection, this doesn’t change he’s still creepy as fuck (clearly, pardon my “fucks”).

I’ve literally dreaded this very moment where I needed to watch this film. Was I hoping for some enlightenment? Perhaps, but I should’ve known better. Forgive me, but I almost wanted to like it because of all the hype surrounding this. My friends have tormented me film after film about their awkwardly but fascinating obsession over this damned series. Grown ass women have literally drooled over the mere description of Edward. But for real though, like that bad? Like really? THAT BAD.

If it wasn’t clear before, it sure as hell clear now. I’m completely hating, on that Haterade without a doubt.

And now I need to watch New Moon. Insanity completely out the door.

James: Oh, still stubborn, aren’t we? Is that what makes you so special to Edward?

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Day 106: Eat Drink Man Woman

Eat Drink Man Woman w/ Sihung Lung, Yu-Wen Wang, Chien-lien Wu & Kuei-mei Yang

If this doesn’t warm your heart and make you hungry, there’s something wrong with you. I’m pretty jealous of the openness this family shares around the dinner table. My parents act as if dating doesn’t exist despite the fact that I have older half siblings that are married. But I guess, it’s their effort to keep forever eight, five or three. Someone once told me a way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Yeah well, a way to get me to lift a damn spoon in the kitchen is if the dude’s even worth it. If not, I’ll take my dinner to go.

Eat, drink, man, woman. Food and sex. Basic desires. Can’t avoid them.”

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Day 91: Sense and Sensibility

Sense and Sensability

Like all of Jane Austen’s novels, Sense and Sensibility serves its devout focus on the female heroines. What came into mind as I watched the film, is that undoubtedly the displays of affection have not changed over time. Cloaked with even the sweetest of English accents, and to no avail you will find me cringing at the ridiculousness that is birthed from affection. Maybe that’s why so many females can relate to Austen’s work, she understands that women can be sensible. But much to our dismay, our sensibility is mistaken for lack of common sense. How does that even happen? But, I will admit, even in my darkest times, my own logic sounds like bat shit. Anyways, back to the cringing. My friends know me as the Bitter Betty of relationship-dom. It’s not that I don’t like displays of affection, I do. I just strongly dislike overtly gross public displays of affection. I’m sure someone has created a meter for such vile acts. Yeah, I get it. You really love him. Okay, I don’t need to know how much you love him by sticking your tongue down his throat while you take a picture. I think I’m good.

So my theories that remain are: to be sensible is to be crazy, to make out in public is still gross no matter the century. The end.

Marianne: Pathetic? To die for love? How can you say so? What could be more glorious?
Mrs. Dashwood: I think that would be taking your romantic sensibilities a little far.

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Day 88: Dear John

Dear John w/ Amanda Seyfried & Channing Tatum

I could understand why some people liked this movie, but I also understand why many people didn’t. What’s lacking in this film is the essential build up to their relationship. They fell in love within two weeks, plausible. They wrote letters to each other while he was away at war and she went to school, plausible. But the passion that leads them into this world of affection and love is not strong enough, at least in the film. What’s always captivating from any Nicholas Sparks-based film is that the yearning from these two young adults is endlessly evoked and is built on the premise of some conflicting issues. We can essentially compare their relationship to that of Noah and Allie’s from the Notebook. So many people are enticed by their relationship because it showed us how strong their bond became in that month. They were perfect for 17. John and Savannah was basically mediocre compared in that regard. Yes, meeting your dad the first night is spontaneous and  a striking quality…but, then what?  Continue reading

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Day 87: A Walk to Remember

A Walk to Remember w/ Mandy Moore & Shane West

So begins my Nicholas Sparks week. Essentially it’s a week of busting out my kleenex and putting my estrogen on overdrive. We all must admit, Sparks knows a way to everyone’s heart. This was one of the movies that’s sweet enough to make you cry without enacting any gag reflexes on any overtly cheesy scenes.

She was carefree but reserved. He was the hometown bad boy who found solace within her world. Jamie Sullivan represents the nice girls of America. Cool in her own way, even if she was the only who knew. I never lived in a small town, but do all small towns have the quintessential cool kids corner? Each year, do they have sign ups on who can look the most mysterious? Jokes aside, Jaime Sullivan made it hard for me to dislike her. Maybe because she reminded me of a cute animal that I just wanted to squeeze and root for in the big race. Don’t lie..we all know you totally did the whole “I want to be in two places at one time” bit, because I did.  Continue reading

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Day 83: Hello, Dolly!

Hello, Dolly! w/ B.S.

Oh, Barbara. How I long to love you like so many do. It was sweet to the say the least, the dancing and the singing all made it worthwhile. Every once in awhile, I wanted to yell “Mr. Wilson!” but contained myself. It was a story of irony and romance, the matchmaker refusing to fall in love, falling deeply for a man she didn’t expect. It was light and delightful, kind of like having vanilla ice cream on a warm, crisp day. Seriously. That damn delightful.

The idea of connections is such a silly and odd thing to examine. We seem to find connections within our circles, and who we believe could be compatible with. I’ve fallen victim to blind dates set up by friends. Things weren’t always pretty and I’ve come out of it with an awkward “we..should do this again?” I’m not the biggest fan of my friends “hooking it up” for me, but I also semi-rely on it as well to get through the season – winter and spring. I don’t think I’ve played matchmaker probably because I figured if I can’t find anyone for myself, my skills are clearly not going to aid someone else’s love life.

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Day 81: The Four-Faced Liar

A confusing group just like your friends

If I needed lessons from a group of twenty-somethings…this would be it.

Not to get all analytical on anyone, but the film’s focus on Wuthering Heights is obviously reflective of the relationships within the film with an addition of a lesbian. Molly thinks she’s Katherine and Greg is Hindley – emotionally compatible but no passion. Basically, from what I gather from a bunch of college kids living in NYC is that I don’t want any of their relationships. One cheats, the other lusts, the other is just blissfully ignorant of the hopeless of their relationship. It’s an indie rome-com,  which really means this happens to everyone. Continue reading

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