Day 29: Secretary

Secretary w/ Maggie Gyllenhall

It’d be odd for me not to reflect upon the year as it ends. I’ve been thinking about this particular post all day and decided what to write about while I did a shit job of painting my nails. This is the time of the year where we decide if 2011 was crap and decide what we’re going to do to make 2012 better. We make resolutions hoping to make them happen past the month of January. It’s where every gym is over capacitated and everyone’s that much nicer.

2011 has been an astounding year. I remember starting the year off wanting and hoping to have a relationship by the end of the year. Instead, I lost one of the most important relationships in my life. My grandfather past away this past summer. It is by the far the greatest heartache I could ever have. This year also meant I turned 21. No more fake IDs, no more being friendly to the bouncer unless they deserved it. I met great guys – all of which could’ve been great potential partners. I met new friends, all of which made whatever I was doing that much richer.  I’ve reached my low of lows and my high of highs. All of which culminated in such a weird, awkward growing experience. Anyways, 2011 was crazy and cheers to even more crazier years.

Day 18: Lars and the Real Girl

Lars and the Real Girl w/ Bianca and Ryan Gosling

Gosling, day 3. By the third movie, I started to wonder if the Gos had some weird accent he turns on and off. I know Canadians have some lingo going on, but his accent sounds like it’s confused. It just depends on the movie, I guess.  At least in this romantic film, he doesn’t play the natural charmer. Thank goodness,  I was about to roll my eyes if he started to swoon one more random girl he just immediately knew was his soul mate. We can’t be all that lucky, buddy.

This project has been going on now for more than two weeks now. I can’t honestly thank everybody enough for the support. Aside from the actual movie watching, I’ve been really interested in the way people have responded to this. I mentioned in an earlier post that it seemed like men started to pick movies that showcased love at a grander scale. Now, I seem to find more men wanting to participate in this project with me. You may call “chick flicks” a guilty pleasure for some guys, that’s fine. However, I think it’s really starting to show me a side of the male

Day 13: In Search of a Midnight Kiss

In Search of a Midnight Kiss w/ Scoot McNairy & Sara Simmonds

I spent a majority of my day at a local cafe in San Jose, attempting to get work done.  Cups of coffees, shots of espressos later, I managed to get a bit accomplished.  But you can imagine that my brain’s completely fried so bare with me here.

It’s the holiday season also known as single person season personified. It’s that time of the year where everyone goes through their digital little black book to see who isn’t committed yet. I hate cuffing season. Get it? Cuffed? I hate it mostly because it’s realizing you’re saving money but also going through a season where everyone’s completely gushy. Ugh. Bitter me hates the holidays. Actually, bitter me hates all holidays.

The film is shot in black and white with LA as its background. McNairy is going through a breakup, of course, it happens during the worst time of his career. Simmonds is bent on finding “love” before New Year’s Day. The film takes a shot at online dating. By dating, I mean posting a personal ad on Craigslist. Real classy. But it works out, sort of. It’s very reminiscent of 2 Days in Paris but with complete strangers. Suffering through heartache is a mutual connection. All you need is the nudge and you can talk for days about the shitty times you went through. It’s funny though, we act like it’s no big deal that asshole broke your heart. “I’m fine. Really, I’m fine.” Yeah. Seems a little taboo to admit we’re hurt. Sometimes, I think we get even crazier if we don’t admit it. 

Day 6: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind w/ Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet

It’s the week leading up to finals (most of mine are next week) as mentioned yesterday. Studying is a lot harder than it looks. I just can’t seem to force myself to open any type of notes. It’s almost vomit-enducing. Anyways…

This movie made me remember again why it is that we get hurt and why we want to remember it. It’s easy to say I rather forget the bad and remember the good or vice versa. We want the easy way out when we’re in pain and move on to the part where we just forget that it happened. But that’s the thing though, are some memories worth keeping and others aren’t?

I’ve had my share of complete and utter heartache. The heartache where your heart literally pangs so hard that as much as you think you can sob harder and louder it doesn’t make you feel any better. Even the ones that just slightly tug your heart, you wish you could fast forward it to a better day. It’s said that everything happens for a reason and whatever doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger, right? Is there such thing as unnecessary pain? As in, did I necessarily had to put myself in that situation, knowingly?  I think that these thoughts often come when I feel lonely. The loneliness often triggers so many things that I rather not think about. It makes me think that some moments are worth more than they really are. It’s not inflicted emotional pain, I think. But rather, I would’ve expected this to happen because A happened, so B should’ve happen. Should’ve. I swear it’s the always constant battle of reality versus expectation. Reality always wins but somehow expectation is the triumphant soldier that never gives up, even in the most hopeless situations.

Day 3: Wristcutters: A Love Story

Wristcutters: A Love Story w/ Shannyon Sossamon, Patrick Fugit & Shea Whigham

It’s nice to see some of my friends so encouraging of this project. Some started lists for me, some just started yelling recommendations. I’ve got lots of both good and bad films to see.

Wristcutters: A Love Story is about a dude who commits suicide and finds himself in a shittier place and disposition than he thought he was when he was alive. Interestingly enough, the movie doesn’t really explain why Zia, played by Patrick Fugit, was unsatisfied with his life to begin with. He seemed to really appreciate his former life once he started missing his girlfriend, Desiree. The movie itself is quirky. The road trip across deadland, or Kamikaze, is about openly searching for love in the afterlife. The backdrop definitely doesn’t make the afterlife that appealing but provides an awesome soundtrack by Gogol Bordello. Sossamon’s character is often defying laws, both alive and dead. She just wants to be happy in a forsaken sad place. You can’t help but like her free-spirited character, because well everything else is dull. So, the point of the movie is to really appreciate life currently, versus, well dead.

Interestingly enough, Zia isn’t enamored with Mikal’s character. They’re both playing, “I’m not attracted to you, but you’re attractive” roles. Zia’s isn’t the quintessenial “love in love” character. He literally is lost, trying to find his love, Desiree.

Another thing, they keep saying how they “off-ed” themselves. It keeps making me think they’re rubbing one out. Gross.

Doesn’t that suck when you have a type of expectation and you’re taking all the steps to make it happen. Then, once you get there, it’s exactly the opposite. You can’t even be mad, you’re just…there. These type of indie rom-coms always make me feel better, just because it doesn’t end so happily. Obviously isn’t real, so it’s a win-win situation. Apparently, love does suck after you’re dead.